Monday, January 15, 2007

Like Exile, I've also got very good reasons to blow this entire place out. But I'm stubborn and I won't do that. That I suppose, will be terrible. I know some of us take great trouble searching me only to be embittered with what I write. They expectantly startle themselves and then pretend that this place is ridiculous, and the way I make them feel redundant. The 'kid', they say, has gone down taking himself too seriously; what he makes belief is a total sham of every order. A misfortunate mistaken rambling, see how we've left the it all to deteriorate? But no one seems to be responsible for the blame, if I say I'm Jimmy Porter. The books you read, my friend, we've read as well. You seem to always miss the point, its simple cause it never really had one. Why are you drinking here, when we only thought this was a funeral of yours we had to attend every Monday. It never makes sense, sometimes; perhaps, its not meant to. I'm constantly blamed of being a cynic, someone who refuses to take the organised staid stoic convictions arrayed from your petty mantelpiece to grant as my own. I would challenge what I see in my subtle rationalising to drill a better sense, even a tailor does so. Its always the way one feels, ain't it at the end? You and your thoughts in your bed tossing each other around. Making you feel like a prince in your grave, your sub conscious playing C-grade movies while you sleep on your Mental TV.
And when they ask me: what will you be like when you're in your mid-30s, when you're already like this? What can I say? Can I actually say that if you still have gums that have the strength to retain your teeth and the sight that's impairing, you could find out all for yourself. But I couldn't be rude. Its never complimented my sophisticated sensibilities. But would I be hiding my own horror, to reveal that it never worries me. Doesn't everyone's future has something, that if they know it all would shatter them and make them not move from their winter dressed bed?
What longing to open your eyes. What reason to make sense of the unfathomable. What courage to go on, when your answers are with you all this while.
It really doesn't matter, after all.


Blogger moonstruck maniac said...

dude... or we could just do acid and chill :)

8:37 PM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger moonstruck maniac said...

and buddy whatever happens, please dont blow this up.

8:47 PM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger moonstruck maniac said...

i'll buy u a rum and coke, make that patiala and two of them... anything to stop you and more so, not feel so down.

8:48 PM, January 15, 2007  
Blogger The Dude said...

hey man, its a new year!
shit bro even im a cynical nutjob, but lifes too short to get so psyched and shite!
be cool, take a deep breath and remember "the dude abides" remember?!

i promise to catch up with you for a drink and drag and all that jazz many more times the next time im in town.

cheers amigo...

4:13 PM, January 16, 2007  
Blogger Aaki said...

I like this post.
And yes, you're one of the most sophisticated people I've come across my age.
Esp. the slight brit accent. :p

Defy them. They won't understand anyway.

1:54 PM, January 17, 2007  
Blogger Prerona said...


i was thinking maybe the 30's is a scary place to be. so many people are goings nuts. including me!!!


Happy New Year

2:28 PM, January 17, 2007  
Blogger Shivangi said...

The Scientist by Coldplay, yes brilliant song...
Far Away by Nickelback also "makes me close my eyes and dream lucidly..."

Listen to Bad Company... instant mood elevator!

3:36 PM, January 19, 2007  
Blogger hedonistic hobo said...

what will you be like in your 30sis you're already like this? hehe who asks such retarded questions? you'll be fine. you are fine. and to them i say, never you mind.

5:22 PM, January 21, 2007  

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