Monday, April 28, 2008

I'm taking some extra time out of my night to write here. Last night was my off. It was quite uncool. It was also my parents anniversary. Which just went all wrong. But I don't really like to talk about it. I didn't know when to sleep. I was sluggish, I was tired but it all happened. And it happened ok.
Went on bought a Raymond Chandler today and the all favourite The Element of Style. I'm really looking forward to work with Philip Marlowe -- haven't read Chandler for ages. Besides Kake's done me the biggest end-of-April gift -- he's found me some crazy Chinese link that has all the My Name's Earl episodes. And since I've talked about how cool it is -- I won't waste your precious time on it.
The night was a bit bit pissin off to begin with, I came in feeling like Marlon Brando and ended up looking like Steve McQueen. My shift in charge is sweet, she let me be -- besides the whole crew went and got a brick of ice-cream which they've been lickin' up since it started. So I decided to put some in my black coffee to at least feel the rush before the first light of day hits the first step of the office building.
Why am I not leaving this rut? Well let me tell you that apart from working for the last 4 years in the same line -- I don't have options. I haven't advertised my displeasure to the market so there aren't many takers -- and I sort of need this time to be a bit more pissed -- but it's on its way. I'm still quite fresh here -- it's been a few months. So I want to make it last till I suffer a decent enough haemorrhage and then call it quits. By then the time will seem right. I think it's going to happen sooner than you expect it.
Precious' been looking low, yep that's her new name. And it's quite crazy but I seem to be person who feels that I should take up the world's entire role of feeling miserable. So when I see her like this I feel it's just wrong. You see when she's low I just seem to end up looking happier in order to cheer her up. It always goes like this, so the emotions between us oscillates in a matter of minutes.
She has a wonderful smile, I look like an idiot when I try to pull one on. She's the closest I got now here. And I'm not cribbing, but then why would you mind reading a good crib.
She says it's a phase and I shouldn't entertain it much, so I hope she wears it off soon -- cause I like the way it works then.
See that's what the cards read now -- I am meant to sit quiet like Cronus, father of Zeus. I hate to say it but they do make an awful lot of sense lately. And I seem to be making some progress with coming to peace with myself, or well for this moment yes, and so I know you got headaches and so do I.


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